Thursday, 22 August 2013

'OI Transit! My shoes are made from cats!!'

People often ask me, 'What is it like working offshore?'  And both times I've answered as truthfully as I can,
But I don't stop there,
'You'll never truly grasp the attitude of the average offshore worker until you can unwind after a gruelling shift with a bottle (just the one mind) of Beck's Blue (non-alcoholic of course) beer  without the slightest hint of irony.'
It really is an act of pointless futility, much akin to a tramp shouting at traffic or a kitten pawing limply at footage of a ball of wool on a TV screen.
More on this tomorrow...


I have said a lot of mean things about the RG5 but I really must commend them on the punctuality and efficiency of their laundry service.  There are some rigs where you hand your laundry bag in and you must say farewell to it as you would a son or daughter heading off to simply don't know how long it will be until you see them once more.
However, I went to the Gym yesterday (get me!) and afterwards put my stinky, sweaty gear in the bag and the bag in the bin/bucket/receptacle around 4PM.  I went to sit in the TV lounge to watch whatever was on Discovery (naturally) and then went to dinner around 5.
When I came back up the stairs I walked past my room to get back to the TV room to watch more Discovery channel (Deadliest Catch of course) and noticed my bag was hanging on the handrail outside my room!

I quite reasonably felt they had rejected such smelly gear out of hand so I unwrapped it from the rail and inspected the contents, only to find freshly laundered gear that smelt only marginally of effort (for that is exactly how much I put in at the Gym).

In short, WELL DONE RG5!!

Neil Hannon Rocks!!