Wednesday, 14 August 2013

The Job That Wouldn't Die...

Well, it finally happened.  We have been afflicted by the curse of the contractor...the dreaded 'ROOM CHANGE' DUN DUN DUUNNN!!

  But not just any old room change, oh no!  This one is a wee bit special.  It is so far removed from the relative seclusion and comfort of our previous cabin that it deserves cataloguing.
  There is no official vendor office space on board here (or rather there is but it is so much smaller than the normal offices that once one vendor goes in there it is already overcrowded) so I had previously set up laptop and printer in my cabin.  Unfortunately in this new room there is a grand total of 1 (count it!), one, whole plug socket.  1 socket for a whole cabin!  Come on! 

Where on earth am I going to plug in my hair straighteners?!

   So for the remainder of the trip (multi-plug pilfering aside) if I want to work on my computer, I, or my roommate, can't watch TV.  Now before you whinge about using the battery power, may I remind you that my laptop is a steam-powered, near vintage, company issue laptop and as such can last almost 20 minutes from fully charged.  Seriously, it is the sort of computer one might see in a Manga/Studio Ghibli, steampunk film version of 'The Matrix'.  
  Similarly should I need to print anything out, I will be sweating like Ryan Giggs at a family barbecue while watching the little battery icon on the bottom toolbar of my Desktop.  And of course charging activities for phones and alike can only take place when the room occupants are sleeping.

Our old room was one floor lower and stuck away in a far corner of the rig, as such it was rather cosy and most importantly, quiet.  Our new room is next to the Rec Room, next to it, fully adjacent, right beside, contiguous, adjoining, in short (too late) far too proximate!!  Suffice to say that last night I could tell when those using said Rec Room changed TV channels.  I could even tell you which channel they had changed to.  If someone sat down too heavily in the smoking rec room, his chair would bang on my wall and knock things off my bedside shelf...

Now I know what you are saying at this point, typical, ordinary, common-or-garden whinging.  Well you'd be absolutely right and what's more, I'm going to continue.  Perhaps the worst malfeasance heaped upon us with this latest move is one of my favourite things offshore - the shower.  The shower in our new room is unique in my experience, it truly is one of a kind.  Now, it has the standard 'offshore shower' 2 settings but unlike most regular offshore showers where the settings are 'Ice Cold' or 'Chip Fat', this one goes from 'Molten Lead' to 'Centre Of The Sun'.  When it was at its lowest setting it was peeling the enamel from the shower tray.

Normally a good shower is the perfect way to unwind and try to forget the misery of the preceding day but with this one I may as well offer to work night shift as well.  Not a plan that has much chance of success as it would just mean getting dirtier and being in worse need of a shower.

There are various other niggles and quibbles to do with this room but they are too small to be noteworthy and only serve to add to the general background of near-total misery that pervades every filthy nook and grimy cranny (gotta watch those crannies!).
I put these grievances to the OIM we are working with and got possibly the most depressing titbit of info ever.
'What room are you in now?' He says.
'306' comes my reply.
'Oh, that one, yeah.  We always put vendors in there.'

Another mystery solved...

Neil Hannon Rocks!!