Wednesday, 11 September 2013

George Osborne ruins 'Nice Day' at the Heliport

A horrible sight greeted me when I opened the P&J in the Heliport on my way out hereNormally, North of the Border is a safe haven from this sort of thing but even that distance wasn't enough to save me this time.  It wasn't even hidden away on an inside page, it was there bold as brass right on the front page, the main story.
A picture of George Osborne...Eeeewww!

Now I can't be the only offshore worker that was moved to physical convulsions at the sight of this greasy, oily, self-important little turd.  Especially when he's all dolled up in a nice shiny survival suit on a chopper to do a bit of glad handing and 'Be Seen'.

Normally of course he's kept away from the public for fear of a repeat of what happened at the Paralympics (see below).  They must be getting desperate!
I certainly do not equate my job with that of the service personnel both home and overseas but at times like these you get an inkling of what they must feel when a serving politician enters their realm to get a bit of cheap (and indeed cheapening) publicity.  Imagine, you're fighting the Taliban or Al-Qaeda or whichever instant villain they've decided we need to root out, you've been out on patrol or in a firefight and all you want is a shower, a change of kit and some scran.  No, you've got to do a photo op with some preening ninny!!

This is made worse when it's someone as bad at this sort of thing as Gideon Osborne.  He can't even sort out the right face, you can imagine it took a lot of focus group hours to arrive at the nearest he can muster to genuine 'concern'.

Gideon : How about this?
Adviser : Eurgh!  Don't do that ever again!
Gideon : Sorry, what about this one?
Adviser : No sir, that's the same face. Could you stop that now?
Gideon : Sorry...I AM trying you know.
Adviser : <sigh> I know sir, I know...
LONG HEAVILY PREGNANT PAUSE
Gideon : I know!!  How about this?
Adviser : NO! That's the same one! Please stop, I had fish for lunch

The face he came up with is the standard politician one that may seem concerned and deeply thoughtful  but upon reflection (Gideon has none) it ends up like the thought in his head is 
'Did I leave the gas on?'

It's simple then, leave the chopper rides to people who can actually do some good...someone selling 'The Big Issue' on Union Street could have been there instead of him...

 Of couse the more eagle-eyed among you will notice that he's got the green armband on the wrong arm.
At least when he's wearing Ear Defenders he can't hear the chorus of abuse that forms the soundtrack to his everyday life.  He's so used to the sound of abuse that it actually seems to cheer him up (see below).
A normal person might take this as a sign that they need to improve themselves as a human being...oh well.


Or maybe he's just a pantomime villain made real by some hideous witches curse, who knows?